1. September Girls’ “Cursing the Sea” is helping me through eclipse season, the grand cardinal cross, and two months of superdeep depression.

     
     

  2. My current favorite dark jam.

     

  3. Gary Lutz on the marvelment of sentence structure

    mythologyofblue:

    It took me almost another decade after graduate school to figure out what writing really is, or at least what it could be for me; and what prompted this second lesson in language was my discovery of certain remaindered books—mostly of fiction, most notably by Barry Hannah, and all of them, I later learned, edited by Gordon Lish—in which virtually every sentence had the force and feel of a climax, in which almost every sentence was a vivid extremity of language, an abruption, a definitive inquietude. These were books written by writers who recognized the sentence as the one true theater of endeavor, as the place where writing comes to a point and attains its ultimacy. As a reader, I finally knew what I wanted to read, and as someone now yearning to become a writer, I knew exactly what I wanted to try to write: narratives of steep verbal topography, narratives in which the sentence is a complete, portable solitude, a minute immediacy of consummated language—the sort of sentence that, even when liberated from its receiving context, impresses itself upon the eye and the ear as a totality, an omnitude, unto itself. I once later tried to define this kind of sentence as “an outcry combining the acoustical elegance of the aphorism with the force and utility of the load-bearing, tractional sentence of more or less conventional narrative.” The writers of such sentences became the writers I read and reread. I favored books that you could open to any page and find in every paragraph sentences that had been worked and reworked until their forms and contours and their organizations of sound had about them an air of having been foreordained—as if this combination of words could not be improved upon and had finished readying itself for infinity.

    And as I encountered any such sentence, the question I would ask myself in marvelment was: how did this thing come to be what it now is? This was when I started gazing into sentence after sentence and began to discover that there was nothing arbitrary or unwitting or fluky about the shape any sentence had taken and the sound it was releasing into the world.

    + and +

     

  4. I’m taking an undergraduate Women’s Studies class about sex work and my first assignment (optional) is to write about the sex industry from the viewpoint of somebody who disagrees with me.

    My first thought was to write about it from the point of view of a client who thinks certain services or lack of barriers should  “always” be included with certain prices, but I think the teacher is talking about something else.

     

  5. etr-gu:

    image

    Flannery O’Connor – born March 25, 1925 – is the most accomplished graduate of an American MFA program, and like any freshly minted MFA, no sooner did she get her degree than she propounded on the whole business. Her insights – in an essay written for the alumni magazine of the Georgia…

     

  6. I’ve never been an “angry person,” or so I thought. I’ve put up with a lot of abuse and I’ve put up with a lot of manipulation, but rather than feeling anger, I felt sadness and feelings of depression/worthlessness.

    Recently, I have learned that it would be beneficial for me to work on the way anger manifests in me, and the way I project it to the world. I have learned that I become very angry, and when I become angry I become very mean, downright cruel. I unleash my anger on others with abrasive words. I mistake this anger for “frustration,” and it’s nervewracking to know that my experience of my anger is so far from reality that I’ve gone an entire lifetime never knowing that it existed. That means I have a lot of work to do before I can be a safe person to be around. I don’t want to subject people to what I might say when I am angry, so this has become a priority.

    I’m trying to find anger management groups that are not for offenders/abusers and not having much luck (surrounding myself with abusive people is the worst thing I could possibly do for my mental health). My therapist doesn’t understand when I try to talk about this, so I need to take it into my own hands. A big part of this is cutting out things that might evoke feelings of anger in me, such as Facebook. I realize how harmful the social internet is to people, and that when I read Facebook groups like “Portland Rad Housing,” I do get angry. It feels like frustration, but peoples’ blatant disregard for how their decisions affect others can actually piss me off, regardless of whether or not I know them. And this is something that I don’t need to trouble myself with, as someone who is trying to reduce the amount of anger in my life. I don’t need to read these things that people say, so I won’t.

    Another thing is Tumblr arguments. Those make me sad rather than frustrated because they are young people convinced they have nothing more to learn, and I feel like it’s a dangerous position for people to be in. I feel sad that young people come onto this website and become hateful, critical of bodies and resistant to hear what others say. “Allies” who refuse to let go attacking individuals with violent, abusive language rather than working to dismantle **systems** of oppression. I have never met anyone in their 30s who is not embarrassed of a lot of the ways they spoke in their late teens and early twenties, so I guess it’s a part of life. This site confuses me when used for arguing rather than blogging, because people are nameless and faceless. I may be a writer, but I have a hard time interacting in that way, especially when I see so much triggering language used to convey peoples’ beliefs.

    I realize that anger is an important emotion, but there’s no reason for me to be as cruel as I become when I’m angry. I have mistaken my own actions as things that are okay (Talking back, arguing when criticized, raising my voice). And if I can’t feel anger without unknowingly unleashing an unsafe wrath of attitude on others, a step I need to take is limit the amount of upsetting things I’m reading or observing over the course of my days. But that is not the only thing I need to check - Obviously, I need strategies and more constructive ways to speak when I’m mad about something. I spent the past 24 hours reading this book called The Dance of Anger by Harriet Lerner, and I recommend it. I also did a little shopping by myself for some new personal items and it felt nice to have a little retail therapy/self-care. I do not do much self-care and I’m realizing how important it is to prioritize that.

    I am also meditating more, and trying to get better sleep. I think all of these things are going to reduce my anger as well as general stress. I hope that this works, for me and for those around me.

     
  7. oncebittentwiceborn:

    doing the thing.

    work in progress.

    Brilliant!

    (via therorlord)

     

  8. I like this song. 

    ASTR - Operate

     
  9. Uncle Radio teaches you how to string a guitar. Video by Kayla!

    If you are local, take your terribly broken electronics to Radio for fixer-uppin’ at her new digs in the back of Briz Loan and Guitar. Briz is located in lovely downtown Vancouver, WA. 

     
     

  10. Grimoire Press (which you will hear more about very, very soon) is poised to bring you the most beautiful book you’ve seen in a long time—Symbology: an A to Z of Archetypes and Epiphanies, by Annie Murphy of The Collective Tarot.

    You can pre-order it to make the printing happen! Plus you can get Collective Tarot memorabilia like shirts and original artwork, Gay Genius, readings from Annie (artist of the Bones suit and The Code card), an ancestor portrait, comics, and so much more. You all know I’m biased but I also can’t even lie or downplay the power of this book or Annie’s art-magic genius in general. Pre-order!

    There is also one Collective Tarot deck available… a relic from the past from the very first printing of the deck.

    Two original paintings of cards from The Collective Tarot have sold at this point, but the 2 of Bones is still left! I have the poster version on one of my walls and I can’t even begin to describe how much it has transformed the energy in my living room.

    Support magical art and the launch of Grimoire Press! Support PRINT! 

     

  11. Facilitating a group of teen girls in 2014 (sexual assault trigger)

    We had an “identity circle” with the girls last week. I can’t shake it. One girl said, “Come into the circle if you’ve been raped or touched.” That was a big deal, and it remained a big deal as seven other girls and both facilitators met her there. There are 11 of us total. 10 of us had been raped or molested. Only 2 of us are over age 14.

    Later, one of the girls said, “Come into the circle if you’re a virgin.” All of the girls except two entered the circle. The girls were shocked that one of them revealed herself to not be a virgin. “I was 7, you guys!” Another girl told her, “Don’t worry, that doesn’t count.” The now-virgin stepped into the circle. 

    And of course, I want to save them. Like I wanted someone to save me. Their parents are on drugs just like mine. Some of them are living without homes. A couple in foster care. They are constantly in transition, some of them with huge gaps in their schooling and others being passed around to family friends. I want to cry with them, I want to say, “Me too.” But I am old enough to be their mother, each one of them. 

    These girls are geniuses. The girl who cries in front of her friends, she’s a badass. The tough girl who wraps her arms around her crying classmate and says “No Homo” after she says “I love you” deserves love and a chance to be weak. 

    My co-facilitator and I went in and saw that more than anything, those girls need each other. Before last week, none of them trusted the others. This time, they were touching and promising to always listen. And now that they have each other, I can get some sleep. 

    **When I tried to tag this post with “teens,” the first two suggestions that came up were “hot teens” and “webcam teens.” All but one of my girls said they wished people would remember that they are only 12, 13, 14. They blame the unwanted sexual attention from men on themselves for “looking old,” but really, they are being fetishized for being teen girls. Thank you, Tumblr, for pointing that out. 

     

  12. Bird & Ghost

    You can read a story of mine, Bird & Ghost, at Blackheart Magazine. Blackheart is awesome. 

     

  13. "…the undoing of privilege occurs not by individuals confessing their privileges or trying to think themselves into a new subject position, but through the creation of collective structures that dismantle the systems that enable these privileges.  The activist genealogies that produced this response to racism and settler colonialism were not initially focused on racism as a problem of individual prejudice.  Rather, the purpose was for individuals to recognize how they were shaped by structural forms of oppression.  However, the response to structural racism became an individual one – individual confession at the expense of collective action.  ” —Andrea Smith

     

  14. Before you talk about sex work, ask yourself what you’re doing for sex workers. If the answer is ‘having sad feelings’ or ‘advocating theories that would abolish your jobs without providing you with any other options,’ there is no need to open your mouth.

    loriadorable:

    Remember that wherever you are, there is a decent chance a closeted sex worker or former sex worker is listening, possibly even someone who has done survival sex work or someone who has been trafficked. You’re about to speak to them about their own experiences, probably at a very basic theoretical level. How much do you really need to look like a huge asshole?

    Thank you. 

    (via clarawebbwillcutoffyourhead)

     

  15. If you like the electro and queer femme megababes, you will love Bruce LaBruiser and her mixes. “Follow” her Tumbl for monthly mix downloads. 

    brucelabruiser:

    Welcome to the February installment of How to Be Popular in Portland, Oregon. I’m Jenny Bruso, a.k.a. DJ Bruce LaBruiser, and once a month I will post a free, downloadable, 1-hour mix of what I’ve been listening to, with a slant toward newer stuff. This is an intentional project for myself that I…